Within medicine, and especially within surgical specialties, the idea of “work-life balance” has often remained an evasive – and at times taboo – topic. However, there has been a rising emphasis on the importance of prioritizing life outside of the hospital as an attempt to reduce physician burnout as well as improve professional satisfaction and productivity.
I was excited to discuss this topic with Dr. Michael Groff, the Vice-Chair of Neurosurgery and the Director of Spinal Neurosurgery at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. Dr. Groff is married to Joy Saini, a urogynecologist at Newton-Wellesley Hospital. They have three children and live together in Boston.
What led you to neurosurgery?
Well, there is a picture of my “taking” the Hippocratic Oath at the age of five, so I do not know how much free will was involved in that, but I have always imagined life as a physician. I went to medical school with the idea that I wanted to help people, but on a very abstract level, without any real idea of what I would end up doing. As to Neurosurgery, rather than saying that I chose neurosurgery, I would have to say that neurosurgery reached out and grabbed me. The faculty and residents at Pitt where Joy and I were medical students were so embracing; it just became a passion.
When did you and your wife meet, and how have your careers evolved together?
We met as first-year medical students, so we were able to experience all that medical school entailed together. We had very different styles as students, but we were able to support each other and that forged a resilience that helps us to this day. At that time, there wasn’t an opportunity to couples match, yet we were fortunate to train in the same city together for residency. I was lucky that she was super smart, so she was always able to continue advancing her career in the same city that I ended up in. The timelines for our careers did not match up, but she was generous in working with me to ensure that I was able to take advantage of certain career opportunities. For example, while she was a young attending and I was looking for fellowship opportunities, she suggested that we relocate to Milwaukee for my fellowship. Without her support, I would not have been able to progress through the opportunities that I have.
How did you plan for children with respect to your training?
We had our first child during my chief year. I couldn’t fathom being a father as a junior resident, when you have no control over your time and schedule. By the time you were a chief, your schedule was a bit more predictable. And we decided to wait to have children until we felt we could both be present. At Mt. Sinai, we had two chiefs, so we were typically one week on, one week off. With my wife being an attending, we could figure out how to not be on call at the same time — that made it workable. Our families have not lived close by, so we had to rely on a nanny or Au Pair for our childcare help.
What is the family dynamic with two working parents while raising children?
The work we do is very time consuming. However, our kids know that we are both working on things that are meaningful and important. I think that has inspired them to find work that is meaningful and important.
From my first year in practice, I have always made it a priority that I have a day a week that I take the kids to school in the morning. By carving this out in the very beginning, I’ve been able to accommodate this in my schedule instead of waiting until I was a bit more established. When it comes to spending time with children, I’ve found the concept of quality time can be a bit of a misnomer. Particularly at a younger age, they want you when they want you. And though it can be hard when you’re in the middle of reviewing a paper, or another task, you have to be willing to stop what you’re doing and tend to them, to ensure they feel satisfied and cared for – and often this may just take a few minutes. However, if you don’t take that time, they feel like they’re being short changed. I have also recognized that helping with the small things, such as how to get the kids to school, wash the dishes, or do a load of laundry, whatever it may be –does more for the happiness of our family than any big plans.
What lesson have you learned throughout these family experiences that you wish you knew earlier?
It is interesting – I wish I had more awareness earlier on. When we start off, everyone has a bit of insecurity in where our paths may take us and how successful we may ultimately be. But the pandemic was a big lesson in refocusing priorities, as life inevitably had to slowdown. I can recall a random weekday afternoon playing soccer with my daughter. Thankfully, the pandemic didn’t wreck us financially, or professionally. And being able to recognize that you can take the time to engage in important family activities and there’s no price to be paid for it, it’s just all upside. I had always thought of it as more of a tension than a no-brainer, and now I have been able to see it a little differently and prioritize taking more time off to spend together.
Have you found your responsibility as parents ever collide with your responsibility to your patients?
Yes, all the time. It’s a difficult balancing act. They have never collided catastrophically, but there are always trade-offs. You’re only one person, and you can only tend to one thing well at a time. I was in the hospital this Saturday afternoon, to spend time with a patient who didn’t need anything medically but could benefit from some attention and that took me away from time at home. Conversely, there have been times where there wasn’t an emergency and I made the decision to stay at home because there was something more pressing there. You have to balance as best you can.
How has the landscape of neurosurgery changed throughout your career with respect to personal life?
There has been a distinct shift in prioritizing families. Men and women behave better when together, so getting more women involved in neurosurgery is only a positive for the field. There has been a push for accommodations [when it comes to families] that need to be made. Men and women are different, and while my wife and I try to have equal priorities when it comes to family roles, it’s different being a mom and a dad. We don’t need to focus on making these two the same, but instead make it possible for the best and brightest of both genders to find a happy home within neurosurgery. I think we are much farther along that path than we were in the late 1990s when I was a resident.
Thank you, Dr. Groff, for making and taking the time to discuss these topics with a younger (and new) colleague!mgr
